Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
