first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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