And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
