I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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