Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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