ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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