He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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