just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize