She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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