BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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