Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
