what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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