I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
