no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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