I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
