I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
