you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
