people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
