Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize