I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
