I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
