shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
