Only a mothe r could love this liver
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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