she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
