I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
