I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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