dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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