Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
