I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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