Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize