well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You ruined the universe
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