absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
