i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
porn star boner night. come get it.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
