He is such a slut. More and more my type.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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