His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think your dad took our porno
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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