I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
