HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
