she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
