i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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