Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
