Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
