I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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