her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
