so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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