I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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