she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
