im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
