my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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