The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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