There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
