honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
