I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
