haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
