Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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