okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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