I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
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I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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