I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i permit you to call me
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
