Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
