im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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