I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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