I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
