@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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