I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize