win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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